Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Social anxiety is so much more than odd nerves or everyday discomfort—it’s a debilitating condition that prevents many people from enjoying their lives. Though it’s scary to navigate social activities, there are several healthy ways to manage your anxiety.
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1. Take Baby Steps
Management won’t happen overnight, so start with baby steps to better ease your way out of your comfort zone. Ask a stranger for the time. If you’re at dinner with a friend and they go to the bathroom, stay off your phone. Try making eye contact with someone. Anyone with anxiety knows those moves seem “small,” but they’re truly huge accomplishments!
2. Keep Things Realistic
Try not to strive for “perfect” social interactions; do away with the idea and instead focus on realistic goals. For example, try to speak with one new person at a party. Maybe you could call in to the pizza place instead of ordering online. Push yourself to take those baby steps.
3. Challenge Negativity
Negativity has a way of creeping in and catastrophizing situations. Though it’s tempting, challenge those thoughts instead of giving in to them. You can acknowledge them without listening, and you can challenge yourself to see positive outcomes over every “what if” scenario.
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4. Challenge Avoidance Behaviors
In an effort to protect us, our anxious thoughts often coerce us from socializing and lead us to common avoidance behaviors. They range from anything to purposefully showing up late to avoid others or hugging the wall at parties. There’s a silver lining—these are just more opportunities to push through the discomfort and try to challenge the urge!
5. Go to Therapy
Given the overwhelming nature of anxiety, it’s not always enough to tackle it alone. You can also look into therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy, to help you manage. Professionals work with you to ensure you have appropriate strategies and a safe place to turn.
6. Practice Healthy Strategies
Speaking of healthy strategies, you can always engage in a few outside of your therapist’s office. Learn to identify your triggers. Keep a journal, particularly to document anxious moments to reflect on later. Look into breathing exercises. The good news is that many strategies are just as effective at home as they are with the pros.
7. Avoid Harmful Coping Mechanisms
Harmful coping mechanisms take many forms. For some, it’s dousing their worries in alcohol. For others, it’s caving to the negativity and avoiding social situations altogether. By learning your triggers and working with professionals, you’ll develop proper management strategies without setting yourself back.
8. Breathing Techniques
Don’t take breathing exercises for granted. They’ve long been a tool to regulate mental illness and are often recommended by therapists as a healthy way to calm down. Try slow breathing the next time you feel anxious—those deep breaths calm our nervous systems and help us feel more relaxed.
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9. Confide in Loved Ones
It may feel like it some days, but you’re never truly alone. Confide in your support system. Loved ones will not only listen, but they’ll also work to ensure your comfort in social situations. It’s good to keep them in the loop.
10. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Another common, though unhealthy, strategy is to ignore our feelings entirely. Don’t ignore your emotions! A big part of long-term management is to identify difficult feelings and how best to deal with them.
11. Pass the Ball to Others
Here’s a little trick: if you’re too socially anxious to gab about yourself, pass the ball! Active listening and open-ended questions open the floor to others. Most of the time, they’ll lose themselves in stories and you won’t have to do much besides listen. It also takes the pressure off you to keep conversations going. (Just remember you’re not off the hook entirely, so you’ll still need to contribute.)
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12. Brush Up on Social Skills
Good conversation is actually more than talking. Non-verbal communication like body language, patience, and active listening all help fuel that social fire. That said, some people need a little nudge to relearn those skills, so take the time to brush up. Coming prepared makes it easier for everyone.
13. Exercise More
Believe it or not, exercise can play a role in social anxiety management. The reason is that working out reduces anxiety symptoms and boosts confidence, as documented by several studies. Even if it’s something low-impact like walking or light cardio, physical activity can help loosen your tongue.
14. Alcohol in Moderation
You might think a couple of drinks will relax you, but alcohol actually exacerbates anxiety. Drink too often and you might see additional symptoms like poor sleep cycles or bad moods. You don’t need to swear it off completely but don’t turn to alcohol as a cure-all solution either.
15. Be Kind to Yourself
You won’t cure social anxiety overnight, so be kind to yourself in the process. Don’t beat yourself up for saying something awkward or missing that social gathering. Comfort comes gradually!
16. Head to a Coffee Shop
One of the best ways to soothe social anxiety is by practicing interaction in a familiar space. If you have a favorite coffee or bookshop, head there for the afternoon. Even if you don’t speak to anyone, you’ll soon learn that people aren’t fawning over your every move or waiting for a mistake—most are lost in their own lives.
17. Roleplay
While you can’t anticipate an entire conversation, you can certainly practice everyday interactions, especially methodical ones like ordering food. Practice a few sentences ahead of time or even ask a loved one to run lines with you.
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18. Do Something Kind
A simple way to feel good and score social interactions is to do something kind. Whether it’s paying a compliment or reaching out to a friend, you’ll be in the best mood for conversation. Not only that, but pleasant conversations grease the wheels for better future social interactions—you give yourself more good memories than catastrophic hypotheticals.
19. Accept Mistakes
There’s no such thing as “perfection,” so quit striving for it! Everyone flubs a conversation now and again, so it’s important to remember that you’re human and mistakes happen. Even if you said something you thought was awkward, most people either won’t remember or didn’t notice in the first place.
20. Know When to See a Doctor
Some social anxiety is worse than people realize. It might come with physical symptoms like nausea or sweating while severe symptoms can be rapid heart rate or trembling. In cases like these, it’s worth consulting your doctor. Speak with them about further aid like potential medication or therapy referrals.
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